Emphasize Training Over Correction




Emphasize training over correction? Does this sound a bit strange to you?

Parents tend to go to consequences too quickly. You hear it in the grocery store: “If you don’t come here then I’m going to…” and we’re already into consequences. It's understandable, but many of our interactions with our children are negative when we do this. Please don't get me wrong. I'm not against using consequences. Jumping too quickly and frequently to consequences is the problem. It hinders connection and affection in the relationship with your children. We might also jump to correction because we're frustrated or angry. That has been my main challenge over the years. I've wrestled with anger, so I would just react and it wasn't good. I'd like to suggest that we change our focus to training. Let me explain. 

Jesus taught us that the things that come out of the mouth come from the heart (Luke 6:45). So, if children have patterns of action such as disrespect, meanness, or defiance, then it is a heart issue. (It's the same for us!) Looking for tendencies that children have is one of the fastest ways to get to the heart issues. If a child is disrespectful once, it might be an accident. A second time might be a coincidence. But if it is a pattern, then you are likely looking at a heart issue that if not addressed will grow worse instead of better. 


Sometimes parents believe that children will grow out of things such as bad attitudes. But the reality is that they often grow into them and they get worse. Tendencies are usually an indication of something that is wrong in the heart. Parents who identify those tendencies and take action to bring about change often focus on the most substantial areas of a child’s life. This is a focus on training.

When a child has a weakness, then that’s an indication of a lack of something. The child who has anger episodes lacks self-control. The child who is mean lacks kindness or compassion. The child who is defiant lacks cooperation. That line of thinking moves a parent from focusing on behavior to looking more deeply at the heart. That’s why Ephesians 6:4 emphasizes training when it says, “Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.


Correction may be a tool used to motivate change, but a much stronger tool is training. Practicing cooperation, kindness, or self-control in many areas of life can help children develop the internal ability to handle their challenges. In fact, as parents practice the positive quality two very important things happen. The parent’s whole approach becomes more positive. And, the child starts to develop life skills that will not only cause the problem area to diminish, but it will provide a child with an internal strength that will be used well into adulthood.

These ideas are taken from The Motivate Your Child ACTION PLAN. It's just one of the resources in the Parent Bundle. This curriculum walks you through the process of identifying an area of weakness and then naming the character quality that needs to grow in your child’s heart. It includes 12 downloadable Audio Presentations by Dr. Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller, RN, BSN Scott and Joanne will guide you as you make your own ACTION PLAN.

Do you emphasize training with your children? 

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Milan Tomic

Hi. I’m Designer of Blog Magic. I’m CEO/Founder of ThemeXpose. I’m Creative Art Director, Web Designer, UI/UX Designer, Interaction Designer, Industrial Designer, Web Developer, Business Enthusiast, StartUp Enthusiast, Speaker, Writer and Photographer. Inspired to make things looks better.

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