Know Your Anger Cues



Know Your Anger Cues! 
My name is Ed Miller.
I've been a coach for most of my life. It's part of the way God made me - he made me to coach and mentor others. I'm spending a lot of my time coaching parents right now, but I love to coach young people. My goals as a coach are these:

  1. Be safe and have fun.
  2. Master the skills of the sport.
  3. Grow in character and life skills.
I thought I was going to be a wrestling or tennis coach. I did coach tennis when I was younger, but I was never an official wrestling coach. (I now have my USA Wrestling Coach Card!) My sons didn't want anything to do with wrestling or tennis when they were young, so I started coaching their favorite sport, baseball. And I've coached baseball ever since. 

I'm on a break from coaching baseball now, but I'm still coaching young people and coaching parents. This story begins when I start coaching a couple of friends in my church as they parent their 3 wonderful children. As in everything we do at the National Center for Biblical Parenting, the focus was on training the heart of one of their children and molding character. We made good progress last year. You'll meet this young man in a few weeks. 


This winter I went to a Middle School wrestling match to watch their other son wrestle. He's a good wrestler and we had already talked a lot about the sport. This was another step in my mentoring of their son "Joe." (Not his real name.) I thoroughly enjoyed watching Joe wrestle, but I found out that his Middle School coaches had very limited knowledge of the sport. Joe wasn't getting much help to improve. He knew more about wrestling than his coaches! I brainstormed with his parents and we decided that I would be his personal wrestling coach. I started giving him feedback after matches and a wrestling lesson after church on Sunday. 

Joe is making great progress as a wrestler and even more importantly as a disciple of Jesus Christ. I learned that Joe had a challenge dealing with frustration and anger. We decided to tackle that together and make some videos so that others could learn from his example. I hope you were able to watch the first video we made where Joe talks about the challenge. I play the role of his father.

Find a personal coach or learn about the self-directed approach.
Joe and I decided to make a couple more videos. In our second video, we review his progress from the following week and discuss the anger "cues" from the other members of his real family. You'll get to hear a little more from Joe in this video. 

You may remember that I'm working on "casting vision" with Joe for the character quality of "self-control."  The main Bible verse we're using is the Proverb in this graphic. A crucial part of developing self-control is learning to identify the cues that the energy caused by our anger is STARTING to build. This helps us then to develop a plan for slowing the energy "build" that will happen without some action on our part. Next week, Joe and I will work together on a "Joe Plan" that he'll put into practice with the Lord's help. Everyone needs their own person anger plan. Do you have an anger plan? Stay tuned and I'll give you more input in how to develop such a plan.


Click Here to Watch the Video on Facebook.


Suggested Action: Have a family meeting and talk about the "anger cues" for each member of the family.
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We have an Online Biblical Parenting Support Group starting very soon. You get the same training you would with a personal coach, but for half the cost. You still get personalized input on the plan you're working on with your child. The next Group starts on February 19, 2017 but you need to sign up no later than February 14. I'll be the coach along with Anne and Becky. Email me at ed@biblicalparenting.org or call my cell 609-203-0672 for more information.

Click Here to Read More About This Online Support Group

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