Instruction Routine: Step Four



Hi! I'm Ed Miller.
The job for the parent in Step #4 is both very easy and very hard. Is waiting hard for you? It's hard for me. I don't like to wait. With my boys, the problem was that while waiting, I got distracted and forgot about them! 

We had a huge garden when my boys were young. Once a week, we all worked in the garden doing various chores. Gardens need a lot of tending and especially weeding. So, I would instruct them on exactly what I wanted weeded for the day. I would often work with them, but sometimes had to give them an assignment and make some urgent phone call or other work matter that needed attention. It was not uncommon for me to get engrossed in the project and forget to "wait expectantly" and "observe" how they were progressing with their work. It was important for me to watch them work so that I could give feedback, encouragement, etc. 

This week, I've been talking about helping our children follow instructions using a good "Instruction Routine." If you missed the first few articles, you might want to read those before continuing. 



Now, we move on to Step Four. 

Parent: Wait Expectantly
Child: Do the Job as on a Mission 

Let's start again with a dramatization of a father interacting with his sons. 


The father is very engaged with the boys in this illustration. He's observing and helping them stay on track. They're easily distracted and clearly not doing the job "as on a mission." This is pretty common for kids. Sometimes it doesn't matter all that much if our kids goof around. If we're going to give a clear instruction though, we need to follow through. It's all part of the process of growing as a cooperative person who's responsive to authority. It's all about TRAINING and character development. 

Now, let's see what it looks like when the boys do their job "as on a mission."


The instruction was simple and clear. The boys gave an answer back and jumped right to it. I also like the way the dad said "thanks" to the boys. Relationships are strengthened and family life is much more enjoyable for everyone. You can get your kids to respond like this. It will be easy for some kids and much harder for others. I guarentee you that it won't happen without a lot of therapy. (Remember, that just means practice.) 

I've given a lot of instructions in my day! My boys spent a lot of time weeding in our garden and it wasn't their favorite part of the week. But, they did learn to do it with a good attitude and "as on a mission." It took a lot of practice in our home as well. Once my oldest son Dave became an adult, he thanked me for teaching him how to follow instructions and work hard. (He didn't thank me much when he was a teenager! Lol!) He shared how it helped him as an employee and in life in general. Many of his friends did not have strong character in this area and he was grateful that we were committed to "parenting the heart." 
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Have you tried "therapy" yet with one of your children. What challenges are you facing?
Share your challenge in a comment below. Thanks.

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Are you looking for some support and coaching in your role as a parent? We have a new Online Support Group starting on June 19 and we'd love to work with you for 8 weeks this summer. This is the least expensive way to get Biblical Parenting Coaching. You'll get some great training via our Content Portal; support and input from Ed Miller and assignments to complete. You'll also get personalized input on the plan you're working on with your child.  Click Here to learn more. You can also call our office at any time if you have questions. 609-771-8002. Use the following code, BPCEM, in the final stage of the checkout process. That will take $50.00 off the price making your final cost just $199.00

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There is a very special event happening in November and I’d like to invite you to join me. The Second Annual Legacy Grandparenting Summit will be held at Lake Pointe Church in Rockwall, TX from November 2-4, 2017. We have a very special discount to offer you as a friend of the National Center for Biblical Parenting. It’s the same as the Summit Group Discount, but you can come as part of our “group.” When you register, just use the discount code NCBP17 and that will reduce the price to $144.00 if you register before May 30. 2017. You can still use the code after that, but you won’t get the early bird pricing. Register Now!

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4 comments:

  1. Keeping the instructions simple! And let them discover their own way of doing things. More than one way to skin a cat!

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    Replies
    1. Thanks. Simple instructions are key. Some parents give too many instructions. I agree that kids need to discover their way of doing things. There are times when a person needs to do something the way a boss or authority says to do it. Kids need to learn that to be successful in life.

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  2. I just discovered this and shared it on Fb. I want to catch up on what I've missed.

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    Replies
    1. Thanks Carrie. Enjoy. Let me know if there is any way I can help.

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