5-Part Strategy for Training Your Children in Life Skills



Learn About a 5-Part Strategy for Training Your Children in Life Skills

Day 5: Ultimate Blog Challenge. 

In the summer of 2015, I planned to do some major renovation work on the inside and the outside of my home. Over the years, I've developed a wide array of skills in home improvement. Much of this came when my sons and I flipped houses. We learned to do a little bit of everything. I knew I
could do all the projects on the list, but I thought it would be good to have some help. I also wanted to provide some income for a few young men that I had coached as baseball players when they were young. I hired a few of these guys, but I knew I'd have to train and coach them. 

We started with painting and I had my helpers work on cutting in and putting paint on the walls with a roller. Using a paint roller sounds simple enough, but there are a few important techniques involved in doing a top notch job.

You can use these same steps to train children to have the life skills they'll use regularly. Often in family life we focus on what a child needs to stop doing. "Stop being mean to your brother. Stop arguing. Stop being disrespectful." We do better if we would follow these steps to train them to do what's right instead of focusing on what they are doing wrong. 

 How do you take what you know and train another person?

TDOEE

  1. The "T" stands for "teach." You start by giving clear instructions about the techniques involved in mastering the skill. Let's use the paint roller as an example here. I talked about the importance of getting the right amount of paint on the roller out of the pan. I also explained the importance of taking long rolling strokes and getting total coverage on the wall. Last, but not least, it's important to go over the wall with a dry roller to remove any streaks or blotches.
  2. The "D" stands for "demonstrate." Many people leave
    out this very important step. Many people are not auditory learners and they need to be shown how the job is to be done. I painted a portion of one wall while the guys watched. I know a lot of coaches who yell instructions, but they never take the time to show a player how to execute what they are trying to teach.
  3. The "O" stands for "observe." I had each of my helpers paint a part of one of the walls while I watched and made
    mental notes. It's important to observe well without a lot immediate feedback. That comes in the next step.
  4. The  first "E" stands for "evaluate." Now it's time to share those mental notes. Share what was done well as well as areas for improvement. We painted for a few days, so I came back regularly to observe and evaluate each of the helpers.
  5. The final "E" stands for "encourage." This is my favorite part because encouragement is one of my gifts or strengths. Everyone needs a pat on the back even if they're still perfecting the technique. It's now hard find something good in anyone's work to build their confidence. 
I use this approach in every area of my life. It works in sports, business, technology and almost any arena of life. One of the reasons that YouTube is so popular is that you can find a tutorial to learn almost any skill. And the good ones demonstrate what they're teaching. 

When kids can't get along, it's because they don't have the maturity or life skills to handle the annoyance or challenges presented by the sibling. You can follow this same approach to train your child to handle that sibling relationship more effectively. You might teach what the right response should be when the sibling is annoying, demonstrate a better response, observe the child in action, bring the child back out of the play to evaluate and encourage. Amazing things happen in a child's life when parents focus on training instead of just trying to stop wrong behavior. 

Suggested Action

Identify a life skill that you want to help you child develop. Use TDOEE to make a plan and then coach them along.


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One of the most important skills that a child needs to learn is how to "Follow Instructions." It's an important life skill that is most effectively developed by working on the character quality we call "Responsiveness to Authority" or "Cooperation." I'll be writing a number of articles on this topic over the coming week. 

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Try this strategy with one of your children. How did it go? I'd love to hear your story. As always, questions are welcome! 

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Have you checked out The Inspired Mom Summit? It's a FREE online event from January 2- 14, 2017. There are a couple of speakers each day and my wife Joanne is one of the speakers on Friday January 6, 2017. Reserve a spot at the summit by clicking on the image or link below. We're an affiliate with this Summit, so you'll be using our affiliate link. 








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Milan Tomic

Hi. I’m Designer of Blog Magic. I’m CEO/Founder of ThemeXpose. I’m Creative Art Director, Web Designer, UI/UX Designer, Interaction Designer, Industrial Designer, Web Developer, Business Enthusiast, StartUp Enthusiast, Speaker, Writer and Photographer. Inspired to make things looks better.

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13 comments:

  1. Interesting. My babies have grown up and I see little of them. They are pretty cool folk though. Lucky me.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Di. I hope you get to see more of your kids in 2017. I'm blessed to have both of my boys living close by. Big Bday Party on Sat. for my first granddaughter who turns 1. Should be lots of fun.

      Delete
  2. Very interesting post. Involving the children is a great idea. A great post for parents like me who are always on the lookout for ideas for better parenting. Keep writing. Looking forward to reading more such post as part of UBC.

    Here is what I wrote recently. Do take a look and let me know...
    https://diaryofaninsanewriter.wordpress.com/2017/01/05/my-shadow-have-you-seen-it-anywhere/

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Mayura. I will keep on writing. Some great posts coming up next week. I'll look at your post in a short while and comment.

      Delete
  3. Very interesting post. Involving the children is a great idea. A great post for parents like me who are always on the lookout for ideas for better parenting. Keep writing. Looking forward to reading more such post as part of UBC.

    Here is what I wrote recently. Do take a look and let me know...
    https://diaryofaninsanewriter.wordpress.com/2017/01/05/my-shadow-have-you-seen-it-anywhere/

    ReplyDelete
  4. Great advice, I've used pretty much this method with my homeschooling, though I never really spelled it out step by step.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Vicki. We homeschooled our kids as well. My boys are both grown now, but they still live in the same town. We're very blessed to have them close by.

      Delete
  5. That's the same process used when one serves as a professor teaching students how to design/develop new products and processes.
    Great advice- and keeps the 'student' from becoming a toady. (Play on letters intended)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes indeed. Thanks for making that connection. I have probably used it most in my role as a baseball coach. Most coaches just yell instructions and never demonstrate what they're trying to teach or correct. It's especially frustrating for boys since the great majority of them don't learn well from just verbal instructions. It's made a world of difference for me in how I work with people in general.

      Delete
  6. I think it's great when we train youngsters at an early age. Hubby and I have an interior decorating workroom and I have taught both our daughters to sew at a very young age. I also start out our grandchildren making pillows by hand sewing around 3 or 4 and graduate to the machine when the are ready. It's so great to see how excited they are when their project is accomplished.

    ReplyDelete
  7. "One of the most important skills that a child needs to learn is how to "Follow Instructions." It's an important life skill that is most effectively developed by working on the character quality we call "Responsiveness to Authority" or "Cooperation." I'll be writing a number of articles on this topic over the coming week." I can't wait for these! :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks for the encouragement Grace. Those article are now all posted. Be sure to check them out. You can find them all here. www.biblicalparenting.info.

      Delete
    2. Oops. I'm logged in as Scott Turansky. This is Ed Miller.

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