Will You Make an Investment of 8 Weeks to Take Your Parenting to the Next Level? It Will Change Your Family Forever!
The Ultimate Blog Challenge: Day 2. I love mentoring, equipping, encouraging and coaching parents. I love providing fresh ideas as well as practical tools that can be used right away. I've been a coach and mentor for most of my life. I love coaching in various settings, but I'm most excited about coaching parents right now. I'll share more about our approach and about me personally so that you can get to know me.
I received an email from a friend of many years just before Christmas. I first met this couple at a student training event when they were still in college and not yet married. In the early part of my life, I did most of my coaching through my role as
a campus minister with InterVarsity Christian Fellowship. I coached many college students and young campus ministers to be fully devoted followers of Jesus Christ. I've been blessed to have ongoing opportunities for ministry as folks have married and started families. This friend and his wife have their 3rd child arriving early in the new year, but they are struggling with their 2 1/2 year old daughter. She isn't following instructions and everyone is getting frustrated.
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Hi! My name is Ed Miller. |
It was a pleasure to be able to offer some advice and support to this couple. We always start by share a completely new approach and a proven strategy for working with children. The focus is on "training the heart" and we use a map mentality. (More on this later. Read on!) We focus more on the heart quality that needs to be developed and less on just changing the behavior.
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Most parents use a rewards and punishment approach in their efforts to control or change their children. This may produce short-term results, but not lasting change. That only comes when we employ a multi-faceted approach that comes from our understanding of how God works with his children to move them along in their sanctification. It involves seeking to understand where the Holy Spirit is working in a parent’s life as well as a child's life.
In the case of my friends, the character quality they need to work on with their daughter is cooperation or responsiveness to authority. This is one of the most crucial character qualities that a child needs to develop at a young age. And they'll need it throughout life as they will have to learn to be responsive to teachers, parents, employers and ultimately to God.
The primary tool we use is called the Instruction Routine. This is a routine that has 5 responsibilities for the child and 5 for the parent. The goal is "training the heart." I'll be sharing more details about the Instruction Routine in upcoming posts.
I love coaching. I have also served as a youth and High School baseball coach where I worked with young people to "master the game" as well as develop life skills. I've mentored a number of young men in construction and home improvement. It's been a great journey.
My wife Joanne is the co-founder of the National Center for Biblical Parenting along with Dr. Scott Turansky. The Turansky and Miller families have also been working with parents for almost 25 years now. Joanne and Scott do most of the
writing and speaking and Scott has been doing most of the parent coaching. Scott has now trained a cadre of Biblical Parent Coaches and I am one of them. So now, I will be coaching and mentoring parents and grandparents. Coaching has been a major theme of my life, so it makes sense that I'm still going to be a coach. "Coach Ed" now has a new arena for his craft and I can't wait to see what God has in store for me.
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My Wonderful wife, Joanne Miller. |
With many years of experience working with parents, Scott has created a coaching program that he can transfer to others. He's proven the concept now and the new coaches are working successfully with parents. We walk with parents through an intensive 8-week program that involves new content, journaling, practice sessions and parent-child meetings. We ask the parent(s) to choose one child and one problem and focus on it for the entire 8-week program. They will learn a strategy for developing change in a child that can then be duplicated with other children or other problems.
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What challenge are you facing in parenting right now?
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The world needs more guidance with children these days. It seems to frequent that we hear on the news of the many wrong doings that children find themselves doing.
ReplyDeleteThanks for doing good in the world!
Thanks for the encouragement. I appreciate it.
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