The Heart Is Where We Feel Close

"Connecting with an older child’s heart often takes deliberate actions on the part of the parent." (Click to Tweet)

Connection = Closeness

As parents, we long to connect with our children in meaningful ways. Those connections often provide opportunities to teach because feeling closeness softens the heart. When children are young, those special feelings of closeness happen regularly, even daily. You read a book to your four-year-old, he leans on your arm, and you cherish the time of connection. You correct your six-year-old, and she cries that repentant cry and wants a hug—and tears come to your eyes too, because you know you’ve connected with her heart.

The closeness you and your children feel is a function of the heart. In Acts 4:32 we read the early disciples “were one in heart and mind,” a statement of their unity. The heart is where we build the close relationships that help us to teach our kids in ways that will have a lasting impact. Closeness allows us to work with our children rather than against them as they develop the valuable character qualities they need to succeed in life.

These special moments of heart connection also happen with older children, but, in many families, they come less often. Connecting with an older child’s heart often takes deliberate actions on the part of the parent. Moms and dads need to be watching for opportunities and then take advantage of them when they come.

A fourteen-year-old gets a positive school report, giving her dad an opportunity to affirm her hard work. Her smile confirms he made the heart connection he’d hoped for.

Mom makes herself available when her son gets home in the evening because that’s often the time he likes to talk.

You Never Know When They Might Pop Up

Be on the lookout for opportunities to connect with your kids on a heart level, affirming their successes and sympathizing with their hurts. The relationships you build with your children are an essential foundation for helping them to grow. In those moments of closeness you may have opportunities for significant conversations or you may simply want to enjoy the heart connection.

This material comes from the book Parenting is Heart Work
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by Dr. Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller, RN, BSN. This book was written after a thorough study of how the word "heart" is used in the Bible. Do you know that there are more than 750 times when the word heart is used in the Bible? God cares about our hearts and we should care about the hearts of our children. Many parents focus only on behavior. Character is developed when we focus on the heart.


Milan Tomic

Hi. I’m Designer of Blog Magic. I’m CEO/Founder of ThemeXpose. I’m Creative Art Director, Web Designer, UI/UX Designer, Interaction Designer, Industrial Designer, Web Developer, Business Enthusiast, StartUp Enthusiast, Speaker, Writer and Photographer. Inspired to make things looks better.

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  1. Good one. And integral to the big picture... Never assume you will 'lose' your kid or that teenagers are naturally not close to their parents. It simply isn't true!!! DO be sure to give increasing responsibility with open communication and rejoice in each step. Continue to have fun and share the things you all love. You can continue to be a reprieve for each other as a family representing many stages of development.

    1. Very true Mary. Thanks for sharing. I find that many parents just don't make the shift that's necessary when their kids get to the 10-13 stage. They keep treating them like 5 year olds. And then there are the parents who make the mistake of giving up at this stage and they stop parenting. That's the focus of this article. We can't smother our teens, but we must still be actively seeking to love them.

    2. Oops. It looks like I was logged in as Scott. The comment above is from Ed Miller.

  2. Thanks Mary! This is so true. Home should be a haven of safety and acceptance for our kids at any age - where they feel loved and valued and needed. This happens when we take the time to value our teens, listen to them, count on them, and challenge them to get to get to know how God has gifted them and to celebrate those gifts.

  3. Admin, if not okay please remove!

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