The Heart is a Wrestling Place

"The real work of parenting is done in the heart."

The heart is where we wrestling with things. When experience, teaching, and values need to be integrated into life, it happens in the workshop of the heart. Information comes into our heads on a regular basis but much of it just stays there. Only when it moves down to our hearts does it become part of our lives.

When eight-year-old, Jordan, says to himself, "I'm no good. No one wants to be with me. I'll never get it right," he's repeating negative things in his heart. Rebecca feels good in her heart because she refused to join those who were disrespectful to the teacher. Jack's mom can see a heart problem because he scowls and complains whenever she asks him to do something. In each of these situations, children wrestle with things or come to conclusions about life and its challenges in their hearts.

When parents use a heart-based approach they take advantage of this wrestling inside a child. They feed nutritious information, contribute praise for growing character, and comment about the helpful and unhelpful internal dialogue as it makes its way out through behavior.

Jesus knew that the teachers of the law were struggling inside with the fact that he forgave the paralytic in Matthew 9:4. He says, "Why do you entertain evil thoughts in your hearts?" When in Luke 24 the two disciples on the road to Emmaus realized that their surprise guest was Jesus, they reflected on the experience by saying, "Were not our hearts burning within us while he talked with us on the road and opened the Scriptures to us?"

Too often parents focus only on behavior, things like getting jobs done around the house and completing homework. 

The real work of parenting is done in the heart.

"The real work of parenting is done in the heart."

For more ideas about how to relate to children on a heart level, read the book, Parenting is Heart Work, by Dr. Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller, RN, BSN.


We’re trying to build a more robust on-line community for parents through the following platforms. We invite you to join the conversation.

  1. On Parenting Blog - Leave a comment or question on any of the posts.
  2. NCBP Facebook Page - A few times each week, we post parenting questions for discussion. Share your wisdom so that others can benefit. You can also post a question at any time. 
  3. Regular Biblical Parenting Webinars with Dr. Scott Turansky. We'll do the next one after the holidays on Tuesday, January 12, 2016 at 9:00 pm EST. Scott will be sharing new material on the qualities of a successful family. This will be the first in a series of webinars on this topic.

As you plan your year-end giving, please consider donating to the National Center for Biblical Parenting. We have a wonderful Christmas gift for anyone who donates $50.00 or more this month. If you're already familiar with our material, you can pass the 4 hours of on-demand parenting content to a friend. BPU 101 from Biblical Parenting University contains short 5 minute lessons that you can view whenever you have some time.  

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Milan Tomic

Hi. I’m Designer of Blog Magic. I’m CEO/Founder of ThemeXpose. I’m Creative Art Director, Web Designer, UI/UX Designer, Interaction Designer, Industrial Designer, Web Developer, Business Enthusiast, StartUp Enthusiast, Speaker, Writer and Photographer. Inspired to make things looks better.

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