Understanding Tasks, Problems, & Conflict



One way to avoid emotional outbursts with our children is to understand the difference between tasks, problems, and conflict. Tasks are the normal things parents do each day. You get kids out of bed, make sure they’re dressed, provide breakfast, check that they have all the things they’ll need for the day, and get out the door. Then you’ll stop at the drug store to pick up the prescription and drop by the library to return the books on your way home. Tasks are the to-do list of a parent. They’re work but they’re expected. It’s part of the job.

Problems are Different than Tasks

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Problems are obstacles that get in the way of your goals. Your son is playing with his video game when he should be getting dressed. You can’t find the prescription you need and you’re missing a library book. Your daughter’s homework isn’t in her backpack again and she can’t find her other shoe. It’s not usually the tasks that create the tension in family life. It’s the problems that get in the way.

Conflict happens when we allow problems to escalate, typically through emotional intensity. Problems plus emotions can quickly lead to conflict.

An Important Rule
Don’t allow problems to turn into conflict. Instead look for ways to see problems as just more tasks by developing a plan to solve them.

Training children is a task, not a problem. The difference has to do with your expectations. If you’re surprised by your son’s resistance to instructions, then you’re liable to view it as a personal attack and escalate to conflict. But the reality is that your son’s resistance is an indication of a character weakness. It’s a problem. Part of your job as a parent is to train your child. Allow the problem of resistance to become a task of training. Develop a plan to challenge the poor character in your son and you now can approach the task of raising him using a calm, but firm manner. It’s just another one of the tasks of your job as a parent.

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This parenting tip comes from the book, The Christian Parenting Handbook, 50 Heart-Based Strategies for all the Stages of Your Child’s Life by Dr. Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller, RN, BSN.

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Most families focus on the individuals in their home, helping each person be healthy or overcome weaknesses. But even if the individuals are successful, the family as a whole might be drifting apart or experiencing significant tension. It’s important to work on the family as a unit and contribute to its success. Get a glimpse of some helpful new material by Dr. Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller, RN, BSN. This is a FREE 4-page download if you subscribe to this blog in September. Click on the link below and do it now! It takes just a few seconds.
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Milan Tomic

Hi. I’m Designer of Blog Magic. I’m CEO/Founder of ThemeXpose. I’m Creative Art Director, Web Designer, UI/UX Designer, Interaction Designer, Industrial Designer, Web Developer, Business Enthusiast, StartUp Enthusiast, Speaker, Writer and Photographer. Inspired to make things looks better.

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