Resolving Anger Doesn't Require Venting

When we talk about calming down and controlling anger, we don't mean denying it. Some people may think that controlling anger means ignoring it, pushing it away, or stifling it. That is unproductive. We want to teach children a strategy to address their feelings and manage them in a healthy way. Anger should not be stifled and ignored, but rage does need to be controlled.

Some people believe that the only way to get rid of anger is to drain it by venting. Unfortunately, this venting doesn't take into consideration the person upon whom that anger is vented. Venting anger is selfish and hurtful to others; it's a demonstration of a lack of self-control.

Often the expression of anger is harmful and hurtful to other people. Proverbs 29:11 says, "A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control." Venting anger may bring immediate resolution on a feeling level. Exploding and venting anger often helps a person feel better. The problem is, allowing children to vent their anger doesn't teach them how to manage their emotions in constructive ways. So the next time the child feels enraged, he is more likely to be explosive.

The solution is to help children learn to control their emotions and funnel the energy into constructive solutions. The most important key in any anger management plan is to learn to stop and take a break from the situation to settle down and then reenter in a more self controlled way.

Refuse to dialogue with children when they’re angry. Require an angry child to sit in the hall or on the bottom step and settle down before proceeding. If you dialogue with an angry child you may even get angry as well and then a battle will ensue. Don't let anger control your family dynamics. If your child even begins to get angry, stop the process sooner.

This tip comes from Chapter 5 "Dealing with Anger in Children" in the book Home Improvement, The Parenting Book You Can Read to Your Kids by Dr Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller, RN, BSN.

What are some things you've done to help your child successfully manage anger?
SHARE

Milan Tomic

Hi. I’m Designer of Blog Magic. I’m CEO/Founder of ThemeXpose. I’m Creative Art Director, Web Designer, UI/UX Designer, Interaction Designer, Industrial Designer, Web Developer, Business Enthusiast, StartUp Enthusiast, Speaker, Writer and Photographer. Inspired to make things looks better.

  • Image
  • Image
  • Image
  • Image
  • Image
    Blogger Comment
    Facebook Comment

2 comments:

  1. Dealing with this in myself and in my children! Thank you for your help and support. Wish I could take a timeout. Any thoughts there? Will pray moment by moment so this anger issue gets resolved in me and my children.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Anger if not cause by a head injury is learned behavior...We are not born angry we are born hungry...So I believe that it is important for the adult to keep themselves in check around their kids or anyone else's kid when it comes to getting angry..and or rage. Rage is scary..I was raised in a family that were all angry, starting with my grand parents down to my parent and her siblings...We never had a chance we were constantly around someone angry in our families to the point they would stop speaking for years...Anger is very destructive, I know from experience, I know first hand what I was capable of while in a rage...I think it takes more than prayer to deal with anger depending on what level it is..dangerous to self and others rage also needs professional help and most important is to want to stop letting anger control you...Along with positive people who will call you on your behavior and is allowed to call you on it and tell you, "this is a trigger for you" or let's pray, or stop your bull, and make sure medication if needed is taken. So I believe it's like a circle that needs to be closed to get better and it takes, prayer, knowing you have an anger/rage problems and see how it's disrupt wanting to get rid of the anger or rage, talking things out with a therapist and be around people who will help look for the triggers of anger..Today my son is very angry, the circle continues, sad...

    ReplyDelete