A Plan to Help with Tough Parenting Problems

When you feel overwhelmed by the poor behavior of your child, here’s an exercise that will give you some direction. In fact, this activity is good for any parent looking for ways to help a child grow, but it’s especially helpful when you’re confused and overwhelmed by a problem’s complexity or deeply-rooted nature.

Start by making a list of the problems you’ve seen in your child in the last few days. This isn’t a list to show to your child but it's a working list so that you can gain some perspective in your discipline. You’re looking for examples of problems that need to be addressed. Look for behaviors, their causes, and common arenas where the problem takes place. In this step, you’re simply gathering data and making observations.

Next, group the offenses around character qualities. That is, look for common threads in the offenses that are an indication of a deeper heart issue. For example, you may be seeing selfishness demonstrated or meanness or lack of respect for authority.

Next you want to name the positive quality your child needs. Possibly kindness, or responsibility, or honor, or respect for others.

Once you have the character quality chosen, you can develop a practical definition for it and concrete ways of demonstrating the quality. Share this new quality with your child in a positive way, communicating hope in the process. Talk about what it means and how the child will benefit from this quality now and in the future. Then practice, practice, practice. Reinforce this new quality by sharing demonstrations of it in the lives of other people you know, and affirm your child when you see it. "I like to obedience I'm seeing" and "Doesn't it feel good to be responsible and care for your hamster?"

Behavior problems are temporary, but the character you work on in your child's heart will help your child now and in the future.

This parenting idea comes from the new book Parenting Shifts, 50 Heart-Based Strategies to Keep You Growing in Your Parenting by Dr Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller, RN, BSN.

Milan Tomic

Hi. I’m Designer of Blog Magic. I’m CEO/Founder of ThemeXpose. I’m Creative Art Director, Web Designer, UI/UX Designer, Interaction Designer, Industrial Designer, Web Developer, Business Enthusiast, StartUp Enthusiast, Speaker, Writer and Photographer. Inspired to make things looks better.

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