But Mom, Everyone's Doing It

Has your child ever come to you and made the statement "Everyone's doing it," to get you to give in to a request? Children use all kinds of tactics to get permission for things parents would rather not say yes to. Keep these three things in mind when you are challenged with that statement.

First, sometimes kids believe that appropriate behavior is determined by the culture. Rather, the rules you set up are based upon the values you hold. Different families have different values so as parents we need to decide what values and convictions we are going to use to determine the rules and expectations for our own families.

Second, not everyone else is doing it. There are many families that set guidelines similar to, or even more strict, than yours. Children have a tendency to find more permissive families to compare themselves to so they can ask for more.

Third, recognize that this statement is a manipulative technique. It makes us feel like we’re depriving our kids of something. Parenting is hard work and too many parents are unwilling to take a stand for what’s right and for values that are wholesome and healthy.

Don't let your children push your buttons with the statement, "Everyone's doing it." Instead, use the opportunity to teach them about your convictions and the values behind the rules you set.

This tip is from the book, Home Improvement, the Parenting Book You Can Read to Your Kids by Dr. Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller, RN, BSN.

What are some ways you've been able to teach your kids about convictions and values?

Milan Tomic

Hi. I’m Designer of Blog Magic. I’m CEO/Founder of ThemeXpose. I’m Creative Art Director, Web Designer, UI/UX Designer, Interaction Designer, Industrial Designer, Web Developer, Business Enthusiast, StartUp Enthusiast, Speaker, Writer and Photographer. Inspired to make things looks better.

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  1. When my daughter became a teenager I called all of my daughter's friends parents. I wanted to know what their rules and boundaries were, especially for dating. I then wrote down everything they said. When my daughter came home and said, "Everybody's going to the dance and staying out until midnight" I pulled out my list and said, "I don't think so" and then I quoted the names of different parents and read their rules to her. She gave me an exasperated "Ohhhhh" and that was the end of that story.

    If you are parenting alone, get to know what other families are doing and what their values are. Make sure you have your values established and then stick to your guns. Kids, especially teens, need to know what you believe in and why you have some of those rules.