Honoring Teens Even When It's Hard

When challenged with the concept that honor means to value others, one parent responded honestly, "My fifteen-year-old son has become so hurtful I just don't see how to value him. I don't feel like I can honor him at all."

A problem arises when a person's worth or value is not easily apparent. A dad might dishonor a teen because he doesn't appreciate her and even considers her opinions and actions foolish. He may overreact, pull away, or make sarcastic remarks. Mom may react with anger when treated poorly and over time lose any sense of value she once had for her son.

It's especially harmful when parents give up or become hostile in response to teen rejection. We believe this to be a serious parenting mistake that may contribute to young people searching for different friends and authorities who will listen and accept them.

When others' worth or value is not easily apparent, a person must learn to honor by faith. Each person has intrinsic value to God and is significant and worthwhile to him. Often when you start with God's perspective you recognize the value of even a difficult person. Stories abound of parents who have continued to be faithful even when all seemed hopeless, only to find the teen to make major steps of improvement.

A teen is formulating a worldview and opinions about life. When parents dish it out the same way teens do, the teens often get hurt. As parents, we must continually look for ways to challenge our teens to maturity without harming our relationship with them.

Teens have a way of treating you like dirt one minute and asking for money the next. Sometimes we must just say something like, "I'd like to take you to the mall but I feel uncomfortable about the way you asked me to leave your room an hour ago. I'd like to deal with that problem first before we go on living life as normal."

Challenge your teenagers, but continually do it in honoring ways. In the end, you will preserve relationship and motivate growth at the same time.

What are some relationship tools you use with teens to keep lines of communication positive? For some ideas, visit the honor department in our webstore.
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Milan Tomic

Hi. I’m Designer of Blog Magic. I’m CEO/Founder of ThemeXpose. I’m Creative Art Director, Web Designer, UI/UX Designer, Interaction Designer, Industrial Designer, Web Developer, Business Enthusiast, StartUp Enthusiast, Speaker, Writer and Photographer. Inspired to make things looks better.

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3 comments:

  1. If you are single parent and your teen looks like has certain characteristics of your ex spouse, it might be hard for you to honor them. Remember your teen is an individual and they deserve you to honor them based on who they are.

    Your teen has a complicated life as they are trying to navigate their worldview from two different worlds, yours and the other parent's.

    Single parent's relationship with their teens can be intimate and deeper than you can believe. As a single parent you are the only adult in your home and this can be a special time as you strive to honor your teen.

    Linda Jacobs

    ReplyDelete
  2. It is our part as a parent to become a parent to our kids and honoring them as our child is included. Some teens are just very troublesome that we think of giving up on them but if we give up on them who will do what we can’t? Well, it's a good news that programs like boot camps, boarding schools, military schools, etc. are there to provide the help for our troubled children.

    ReplyDelete
  3. One must be careful to not let "honoring" become "enabling"...I made that mistake. It is important for both relationships to keep healthy boundaries, keep the communication lines open, and allow the teen to experience the consequences of their choices that will produce steps towards maturity.

    ReplyDelete