Understanding Adolescence

One mom felt hurt but considered her thirteen-year-old daughter's meanness as normal. "Aren't children supposed to hate their parents in order to ease the upcoming separation?"

Another mother of a teenager had given up. "You just have to get used to their disrespect. Hopefully some day they'll appreciate you, but for now, there's no chance."

These kinds of misunderstanding of adolescent changes hinder closeness in a family and parents often don't know where to draw the line. Independent thinking is healthy but disrespect is not. Choosing one's own values is important but can't be an excuse for dishonor. Parents who don't realize the difference, miss valuable teaching opportunities.

Furthermore, teens may appear hard but they're still very sensitive. When parents dish it out the same way teens do, teens get hurt. Their understanding of themselves is much more fragile than their actions lead you to believe. Teens are at a prime time for life-altering experiences. An offhand comment by you may make a lasting impression so be careful what you say and how you say it.

There’s a reason behind what's going on during adolescence. It doesn't mean that we excuse children, but we don't have to be surprised by the changes either. The stress experienced by families during the teen years can be overwhelming. Wisdom is required to maneuver through the continual relational land mines. Be patient, look for teachable moments, don't get sucked into futile arguments, and above all continue to pray for your teens. They need it more now than ever.

What are some ways you've been able to connect with our teen's heart?
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Milan Tomic

Hi. I’m Designer of Blog Magic. I’m CEO/Founder of ThemeXpose. I’m Creative Art Director, Web Designer, UI/UX Designer, Interaction Designer, Industrial Designer, Web Developer, Business Enthusiast, StartUp Enthusiast, Speaker, Writer and Photographer. Inspired to make things looks better.

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4 comments:

  1. Being a single parent of an adolescent is particularly difficult because you are going it alone. I encourage single parents to find a special friend they can call on when the going gets rough. Sometimes it is just good to be able to run your thoughts through another person. Don't ask for ideas but just talk through an incidence. Talking through it with someone outside the home gives you a fresh perspective.

    Teens in single parent situations need to connect with you whether you are the parent they live with or not. Teens need connections to both parents. I have found for the most part teens in single parent homes actually want to spend more time with you. They have double the stress as teens in two-parent homes. They need the constant reassurance that they have your support and your love. Your attention to their lives can make a big difference.

    My kids constantly sought out my attention and advice when they were teens. They took in what I had to say and what their father had to say and then made their own decisions about things. Sometimes their father and my opinions were in direct opposition.

    Above all pray for and with your teen. Learn to pray with them over the phone or in text messages. Some days they just need the assurance you are there praying for them.

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  2. well said..... i would also like to add that our church has a parenting group, led by an elder and his wife who raised 5 children already... we study christian parenting books by tripp and such. the elder and his wife are honest, loving and humble enough to share the parenting mistakes they have made and they can usually give any of us guidance and wisdom on most any parenting issue we come to the group with.. one or two of their children have walked away from our lord, so they have much wisdome to pull from... this group is a life line for me and i can be assured my children are prayed for and i am supported in my parenting journey...

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  3. I was struggling with my 14 year olds attitude and it was hurting my feelings. Friends kept telling me to not let it bother me cuz that is what teens are like. I don't agree. I don't think they should be allowed to be disrespectful. So, I just stepped back and gave her space while reminding her to be respectful. It has helped, cuz now she comes to me for hugs and love. I so agree with the article. Teens are misunderstood.

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