Look Out For Boasting

One of the three causes of sibling conflict is that children want to be first or best. In fact, they often want to exalt themselves and put others down. When a child boasts a lot, it should be a flag that this area needs some attention. Kids say things like, "I know how to do that" or "I can do that better than you." Children try to feel good about themselves by focusing on their own accomplishments. They seem to say, “I feel good about myself if I can tell you how much better I am.” Sometimes children think that just because they did it faster or neater, than they're more valuable, but that’s not the way to measure importance.

Talk to children about how to measure their value and worth. It's not good enough to find people that you are better than. God’s solution to feeling good about who you are is to please him; and it all starts with being a humble servant.

A servant attitude directly addresses the problem of boasting. A servant’s reward is the statement, “Well done, good and faithful servant.” Children must learn not to compete with others but to do the best job they can, comparing themselves only to themselves and the standards and goals appropriate for them.

When you hear boasting, or see a child elevating himself or herself while putting another down, take time to point out the mistake your child is making. It's best to point it out in private or at a later time by saying something like, "I have noticed something about the way you think that concerns me. It seems that you are measuring how good you are by comparing yourself to others. You seem eager to boast and point out ways you are better. I think you're going to be an unhappy person if you keep that up.

“When you see another person accomplish something good, I want you to say something nice about that person, not about yourself. Would you please think about that? If I hear you boasting, I'll try to point it out to help you see it. I'd like to help you think in more mature ways than that."

After all, James 4:16 says, "As it is, you boast and brag. All such boasting is evil."

What are some things you've done to teach your children about servanthood?

Milan Tomic

Hi. I’m Designer of Blog Magic. I’m CEO/Founder of ThemeXpose. I’m Creative Art Director, Web Designer, UI/UX Designer, Interaction Designer, Industrial Designer, Web Developer, Business Enthusiast, StartUp Enthusiast, Speaker, Writer and Photographer. Inspired to make things looks better.

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  1. Here's a comment that came to the office: How to teach boys to serve one another without bragging....... We make a box of chores: dishes, take out the trash, make all the beds, pick up all the dirty clothes, feed the chickens, feed the dogs, feed the cats, whatever needs to be done. The imortant thing is that they must do it all, not just their own. If you draw "make the beds" then you make them all. If they are old enough, I add my chores in as well. Then, I get to take out the trash. Trust me, Ill do it the first 3 times. It is a random drawing! But I always get take out trash and vacuum first day. The delight is that they have to pick up each others clothes and make everyones' beds! About 3 months the lesson is learned and I never hear "But that's not my mess" any more. From Dana

  2. It might seem like this tip would be harder to pull off in a single parent home because you don't have total influence over your children.

    Use the influence you have when they are with you. Your children will come to learn that your opinion is important and valuable to help them become a better person. Of course you will have to model this concept yourself and that means kind words for and about your ex spouse.

    Your children will be watching and listening to how you treat your ex spouse, their other parent. This may be difficult if you are not getting the same treatment from your ex. That makes it even more important for you to model this concept.