An Immediate Follow Through

A valuable tool in the discipline process is an Immediate Follow Through. Immediate is an important word here. Immediate Follow Through teaches children to obey quickly. A delayed follow through gives children an ambiguous message.

We're not suggesting that you become overly authoritarian in your approach with children. Many times what kids need is just love and encouragement, but when you see that children need correction, it's important to do it clearly in order to maximize the learning experience.

What kinds of consequences do you use? We believe that the most effective parenting takes place when parents have a toolbox full of consequences and don't only rely on just one. After all, different consequences work better with some children than they do with others. In fact, one consequence may work better with a child at one time than it will with the same child at another.

It’s best to have a variety of consequences to choose from rather than always relying on the same consequence for every situation. This requires planning and consideration, two commodities that aren't always available at the heat of the moment. The fact is, however, that many of the offenses our children experience are repeat offenses. This means that you can plan now for the next time this problem reveals itself.

Taking away privileges, giving more work or assignments, taking a break, asking for an apology, or missing out on an activity or event are just a few things to help you get started. Remember that the goal is to help children change their hearts. Look for consequences that bring about that change, not just consequences that make children serve a sentence for a "crime" committed.

Heart-based parenting requires work, more work than we ever imagined. Regularly pray for your children and ask God to give you wisdom about correction. Pray that God will change your child's heart. That is really the key. God uses us, as parents, as tools in our children's lives but he is ultimately the one who changes the heart.

What are some ways you've seen an Immediate Follow Through helpful in your family?
SHARE

Milan Tomic

Hi. I’m Designer of Blog Magic. I’m CEO/Founder of ThemeXpose. I’m Creative Art Director, Web Designer, UI/UX Designer, Interaction Designer, Industrial Designer, Web Developer, Business Enthusiast, StartUp Enthusiast, Speaker, Writer and Photographer. Inspired to make things looks better.

  • Image
  • Image
  • Image
  • Image
  • Image
    Blogger Comment
    Facebook Comment

5 comments:

  1. Sometimes an Immediate Follow Through might not be possible if your child is leaving to visit the other parent. Don't despair. Write yourself a note and when your child returns after the visit, sit down with them and discuss what happened. While it's not the ideal situation you can still address the issue.

    Some kids figure out very quickly that if they wait until about time to go to the other parent's home, they get off free. You may have to get creative in how you handle some problems. Just remember the problem will need to be addressed.

    It's still possible to work on changing your child's heart even after he has been gone over the weekend. Heart-based parenting requires even more work in a single parent home but you can do it. Besides praying regularly for your children on the weekends your children are out of your home, spend a even more time in prayer and thoughtful evaluation.

    Welcome your child home, love on him or her and then sit the child down and have that talk.

    ReplyDelete
  2. At home, the boys do 10 pushups when a simple reminder is not taken to heart. Repeated offenses get 20-30. Often I explain God commands us to honor our Father and Mother and that I hope he will do this. Then we do our push-ups together when he needs the extra love to get past the sting to see the lesson. This helps strengthen boys outside of sports as well.
    Variety is sure needed, so please do share what has worked with you.

    ReplyDelete
  3. When a child acts pretty good at home. When there is not much allowance for any wild or out-of-control behavior. When the parents spank them and take away the child toys (after a bad report from school) Why is the child doing things at school (hitting, screaming, damaging his clothing etc...)that would be unacceptable at home. Alot of talking and alone time have been given to this child. We are confused.

    ReplyDelete
  4. HI Norvella, I assume that you're speaking of your own child, that you're doing a lot of good parenting but the child is still acting out at school and so that is confusing to you. It sounds like your child needs a specialized plan that focuses on the heart. Your child may be complying on the outside under your firmness but when the same externals don't exist at school, your child fails to have the internal strength to deal with the temptations. If this is an accurate assessment then we can help. That's what makes our programs so powerful. We use a heart based approach to parenting and teach parents strategies that will help their children make internal changes.

    I just want to remind you that there are a lot of good ways to parent. It sounds like you're doing some of those good things. But just because they are good ways to parent doesn't mean that they work on every child. It sounds like your child needs a different plan.

    ReplyDelete
  5. In reading articles online from different experts, they claim that "consequences" are just another name for punishment. They claim that if we are loving and encouraging and empathic with the child then the child will WANT to behave due to the parent/child connection. I must say that I didn't at first, but after reading more into it, I agree. For instance, you said that we can do things like TAKE privileges, GIVE more work, MISS out on a fun activity. When we look at it the child is being "punished". However, if we let them face the natural consequences of their behavior, then they learn much better and the parent is not the "enemy" nor or we the "rescuer" because we have set clear limits. For example--- I forgot my jacket....now I am cold. I left my lunch at home.....now I have to go hungry. Then we empathize with those feelings, they learn from the mistake and the parent and child are still connected. What do you think?

    ReplyDelete