“That’s Not Fair!”

Competition between siblings is often demonstrated by the statement, "That's not fair" or "What about him?" Competition stems from comparison and often creates conflict in relationships between brothers and sisters.

Here's an idea that will go a long way to reduce the comparison and competition between your children. Treat each child uniquely and don't try to treat all your kids the same. Intentionally give them different privileges, assignments, and responsibilities. Avoid grouping the children by saying things like, "Kids, it's time to eat" or "Boys, let's get in the car." Instead, use each child’s name and give separate instructions. "Bill, please wash your hands and come to dinner." "Karen, come join us now for dinner?"

When children compare themselves to each other they say they want equality, but that's not really true. What each child wants is to feel special. When you treat them uniquely, and focus on each child individually, you'll be surprised how much comparison and competition are reduced in your family.

After all, God doesn't treat us all the same. He treats us each uniquely. John 21:15-23 contains a fascinating story that often happens in families today. Jesus is telling Peter how he is going to die. Peter turns and looks at another disciple and says, "What about him?" Jesus answers, "What is that to you? You follow me." In essence Jesus was saying, "I treat each person uniquely. You worry about yourself." What a great lesson to apply to our families. Treat people uniquely and special instead of trying to treat them all equally or the same.

What are some ways that you've found helpful to teach your kids to get along?
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Milan Tomic

Hi. I’m Designer of Blog Magic. I’m CEO/Founder of ThemeXpose. I’m Creative Art Director, Web Designer, UI/UX Designer, Interaction Designer, Industrial Designer, Web Developer, Business Enthusiast, StartUp Enthusiast, Speaker, Writer and Photographer. Inspired to make things looks better.

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2 comments:

  1. I have two children, and in our family it's one of "their days". This means that if it is an odd-numbered day, my daughter gets all the extra privileges like choosing the t.v. program or what's for dinner, AND all the extra jobs like helping mom whenever I call and inadvertent spills and other messes. Also, if it is "my day" as they call it, they take the responsibility for guiding conflict resolution through the biblical model, including restitution. On even-numbered days, my son gets all the extras. It seems to encourage them to take more responsibility and reduce stress because they each know they will be go-to person either today or tomorrow.

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  2. I love the idea given in the blog post and the comment! I tend to treat my oldest two daughters as one unit because they do so much together. I realize now that this can cause problems. Thank you!

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