Another Parenting Tip from The National Center for Biblical Parenting…Look for ways to coach your children to make their own decisions or to think about how decisions should be made. You may even want to encourage cooperative decision-making when a child comes to ask for something.
Cooperative decision-making teaches children valuable skills of negotiation, compromise, communication, and creating alternatives. Mutual honor is demonstrated in the midst of cooperation.
How might you respond to this question: "Mom, will you take me to the store right now?"
Would you say, "No, I'm busy" or "Okay, let's go"? Those might be simple answers to the request but why not turn this into a cooperative learning experience about how we make such decisions.
Try saying, "Why don't you tell me more. I'm working on something right now. Let's work this out together."
Sometimes we make the error of emphasizing parental authority and other times we simply try to please our children. Neither is wrong but we might miss a valuable teaching opportunity.
Problem solving and decision-making become the garden where honor flourishes because children learn that the process is just as important as the end result. You can help children consider the ramifications of a particular decision. You might ask, "How will your brother feel if you do that?" Or, "I'm wondering how your friend feels when you eat a cookie in front of him."
Every problem we solve and decision we make has potential to show honor. Don't just tell kids what to do - ask questions. Sometimes there's nothing actually wrong with our decisions, but can we be more honoring? Great lessons are taught through cooperative decision-making.
For more practical ideas on developing honor in your family take a look at the book, Say Goodbye to Whining, Complaining, and Bad Attitudes, In You and Your Kidsby Dr Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller. We call it The Honor Book.