Wednesday, October 29, 2014

Leading a Child to Christ

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Biblical Parenting Podcast Episode #19: Leading a Child to Christ


The most important job we have as parents is to pass the faith to our kids. Do you know how to lead your child to a personal commitment to Jesus Christ? Listen to this podcast episode for some specific ideas. Hear more at www.biblicalparenting.org/podcasts

Tuesday, October 28, 2014

You Be The Leader Game

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Another Parenting Tip from The National Center for Biblical Parenting…
One activity that fosters cooperation in family life is the "You be the Leader" game. This game has three parts. In the first part, choose an activity and someone to lead. The activity might be cleaning up the kitchen after dinner, washing the car, raking the leaves, organizing the playroom, shopping for groceries, or some other household chore. The leader could be Dad or Mom or one of the children. It's best to play this several times and change the leader.

In the second part of the activity the leader leads the family to complete the task. This is often a challenge when a seven-year-old or fifteen-year-old is leading, but that's all part of the lesson. Don't break roles and take over the leadership.

When Dad isn't the leader, he might begin to argue and then catch himself and say, "Oh, I'm sorry. That wasn't honoring." When Mom isn't leading, she may begin to complain in a whiny voice. Actions like these add to the fun and become visual examples of problems that followers experience.

The third part of the game is the most important. Sit down and discuss the experience. Ask questions like, "What did you find difficult about leading?" "What did you find difficult about following?" "Do you prefer to lead or follow?" "Why?" "What makes leading easy?" "What makes following easy?" Use these questions to talk about your specific experience, but also discuss leading and following in general. Be transparent and share some of the struggles you face.

After doing this activity, one mom shared that she would prefer to follow but is often thrown into a leadership role. Dad, on the other hand, would prefer to lead in some situations but he must follow because Mom is regularly involved in that area of family life. The young daughter shared how leading is made more difficult when followers complain or are uncooperative. Dad also talked about being a follower at work. Sometimes he needs to be a helpful participant, and look for opportunities to encourage others to reach their goals.


This parenting tip comes from the book Say Goodbye to Whining, Complaining, and Bad Attitudes, In You and Your Kids, the book about Honor by Dr Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller, RN, BSN. 

Wednesday, October 22, 2014

Talk to Teens about Character

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Another Parenting Tip from The National Center for Biblical Parenting…
Teens are at an important stage in life where they are developing their own value system. Sometimes teens seem unresponsive to parental leadership but what you say has more weight than you imagine. Take time to identify character strengths and weaknesses and then respond accordingly.

When you see a problem, relating a consequence to the specific weakness can be more productive than just "grounding" a teen.

You might say, "I sense an ungrateful spirit in you, yet you seem to continually want me to sacrifice. I don't mind helping you, but I'm going to say no this time and I'll watch and see if your gratefulness increases for the things I'm already doing for you." This type of response teaches young people the value of gratefulness instead of just considering their own goals and desires.

A teen who lacks thoughtfulness about household chores may need a contract where parents agree to drive to an activity if the teen agrees to clean out the car. This again forces young people to give up demandingness and think of the needs of others. Sometimes teens want to come and go as they please but expect food on the table and their clothes cleaned.

One mom who was raising her fifth teenager said, "Alan is 13 now. When he was in kindergarten he was diagnosed with ADHD. He is often assertive in order to control situations. My husband and I have learned over the years that what we see as areas of weakness can turn into areas of strength later on. Alan is daring, not afraid to try something new. This last summer he went on a mission trip and was the youngest member of the team. He did well and was bolder than many of the adults. They found his assertiveness an encouragement."

Make observations for teens and give them feedback about their character.
"It looks like you're easily influenced by your peers."
"You seem to be having trouble managing money."
"Those words are unkind."

Don't overdo negative observations but helping teens see character weaknesses can be an effective way to help them grow. Look for positive character qualities to affirm as well.
“Thank you for taking initiative to clean up the kitchen.”
“Looks like you’re becoming more conscientious with your schoolwork.”

Giving your teen character-based feedback will be quite helpful over time.


This parenting tip comes from the book Say Goodbye to Whining, Complaining, and Bad Attitudes, In You and Your Kids by Dr Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller, RN, BSN. Chapter 8 is entitled Helping Teens Through the "Tunnel Years."
 

Preventing Busyness From Ruining Family Unity

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Biblical Parenting Podcast Episode #18: Preventing Busyness From Ruining Family Unity 



One of the greatest challenges parents face is today's busyness. It's hard to build a family today with so many pressures and demands on our schedules. In this episode of the Biblical Parenting Podcast, you'll hear how several families are making it work in the midst of the busyness of life. Hear more at www.biblicalparenting.org/podcasts

Friday, October 17, 2014

Suggestions for Influencing Teens

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Another Parenting Tip from The National Center for Biblical Parenting…
Even the best of parents must make some changes in the way they parent as their children grow up. The old methods of relating don't work the same way anymore. In fact, they seem to cause problems instead.

Of all the changes teens make, the most important one is probably the adjustment in their relationship with their parents. They're moving from a parent-child relationship to an adult-adult relationship. Unfortunately, some parents never make the shift. They continue to treat their teens as if they're still eight or nine years old. Honor helps parents recognize the changes and make the necessary adjustments.

Although you may be able to "control" young children, the key word for teenagers is "influence." Here are five words that describe different ways you can influence teens.

1.    Teach - provide them with new information or help them understand another facet of life.

2.    Encourage - remind them of the benefits of moving in the right direction.

3.    Entreat - earnestly ask them to act in a mature, responsible, and wise way.

4.    Admonish - warn, caution, or advise them by anticipating possible negative consequences.

5.    Persuade - use relationship, incentives, and natural consequences to motivate them to make wise choices.

Remember that you don't have to accomplish everything in one interaction. Change takes time and your influence over time will produce the greatest results.


This parenting tip comes from the book Say Goodbye to Whining, Complaining, and Bad Attitudes, In You and Your Kids by Dr Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller, RN, BSN. Chapter 8 is entitled Helping Teens Through the "Tunnel Years."
 

Wednesday, October 15, 2014

Faith in Action at Home

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Biblical Parenting Podcast Episode #17: Faith in Action at Home 



One of the ways to excite kids about their faith is to show them how it is relevant at home. But sometimes that's tough when we are so busy in our lives. This episode of the Biblical Parenting Podcast provides you with some ideas to put faith in action at home. Hear more at www.biblicalparenting.org/podcasts

Wednesday, October 8, 2014

Using Jesus' Teaching Techniques With Your Kids

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Biblical Parenting Podcast Episode #16: Using Jesus' Teaching Techniques With Your Kids 



Some children learn best through experience. When parents grasp the teaching techniques of Jesus then they are often better equipped to reach their children's hearts. Learn more on this week's episode of the Parenting is Heart Work Podcast. Hear more at www.biblicalparenting.org/podcasts